There’s a Cog in my Throat

My throat feels like someone scratching their nails down a chalkboard.

It has a lump in it that makes me keep wanting to swallow, but I can’t.

I keep trying to talk but I can’t even get out a word.

I feel too awful or I would go on a tirade and rant!

Poet’s Note: I realize that this piece isn’t my best poem, but, in addition to the migraine, I have lost my voice. I promised myself that I would publish a writing on here every day, and this is the best that I could do in the state that I am in. Thank you for reading! I truly appreciate your kindness.

God Is There

When your best poem is lost forever

And, your dreams feel like now or never

Is God there?

My God is there.

When your heart is closed and fully broken

When your love’s memory is just a token

Is God there

My God is there

When your Mom is gone when you really need her

And, your best friends are two furry creatures.

My God is there when the tears are pouring

When I want this life to end.

He is there when, after, and during.

He holds me in the palm of his hand

When I am unsure and doubting, He holds me again

When it seems like there’s no good reason

When despair lasts season after season

God is there

My God is there.

A Little Nitty Gritty Ditty

I’m dying

Inside

I ain’t lying

To hide

I see you coming for me

Mister Anxiety

Go fuck

Off

Turn your damn head

And cough

That’s right I got chesticles

And, I got you by the testicles

Got you in a vice grip

You try to move and I’ll rip, rip, rip

I break a chair over your back

To make up for all the things you think I lack

I repeat

Fuck you

Take a seat

While I use my voodoo

Concoction of pills

That thwart away your chilling ills

I won’t give up till I’ve won

I’m done.

Poet’s Note: I have intense anxiety attacks. I’ve had a horrible one building along with a migraine for 9 hours. I missed an important appointment that I have been waiting for since spring. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and had to write it out. It’s a little better now; Of course I’ve had two doses of meds now and kisses from my service dog and support dog who are curled up next to me on the couch which is some feat considering that they are both big ass dogs. Please, excuse the foul language, but, if you have ever had a major panic attack, you understand. If not, deal with it. I think this would be a good rap, so I’m giving it to the best rapper I’ve ever heard, my friend, Ian Gabriel to do with as he pleases. With all of that being said, there’s one last thing…I’m out. Mic drop…

My Forever Family

I look to the Heavens and what do I see?

The God of my Father’s smiling down upon me.

I look at my sister and what do I view?

A love so intense that, God, it reminds me of You.

I look at my doggies and what do I sense?

The protection of the Lord, my God of recompense.

I call my brother and what do I feel?

A fierce warrior that protects and You say “Peace, be still.”

I know my Mom is with me and what do I pose?

She is watching over me with you, Lord, the God who rose.