Why? Just Why?

Memories of you prance around in my head.

I don’t understand how you could play so many roles and be one person.

I am confused.

You were contrary- intentionally.


I remember great moments and horrible encounters with you.



It doesn’t really matter.

I loved you just the same whom ever you were at any given moment.

You were my whole world, and that was a mistake I should have learned upon Mom’s dying.

I didn’t learn then, but I am now. It doesn’t sting so much anymore.


Because pain is the price we pay when we love someone.

The corners are softer than they used to be.

The memories are stark, clear in my mind, but fuzzy around the edges in my soul.

I think we took turns as Narcissist and Empath until I finally left the scene, and you left the storyline.


You pare an entity who ears souls and minds. My Avenger skills are no match for one who devours worlds. My whole world…

You were Hawkeye and I struggled and fought you to the death.

I died.


I am Black Widow.

God Is There

When your best poem is lost forever

And, your dreams feel like now or never

Is God there?

My God is there.

When your heart is closed and fully broken

When your love’s memory is just a token

Is God there

My God is there

When your Mom is gone when you really need her

And, your best friends are two furry creatures.

My God is there when the tears are pouring

When I want this life to end.

He is there when, after, and during.

He holds me in the palm of his hand

When I am unsure and doubting, He holds me again

When it seems like there’s no good reason

When despair lasts season after season

God is there

My God is there.