Why must everything be a drama queen story
I feel like I live in the Spanish soap opera I had to watch in university days
Of course, I wouldn’t want to live in the French soap operas of high school either-
How dare you hug me Jean! I’ve only known you 5 years.
French soap operas definitely don’t live up to there reputation.
Isn’t there a middle ground?
One that doesn’t kill my stomach like a hundred balloons were bursting inside?
If writing gets me through it, why isn’t it my go to answer?
Off I go now.
The Crohns’ and IBS are calling-toll free.
How innocent is a flower
after being plucked a half dozen times?
Or a snowflake that has already melted
on a tongue?
How rosy are the cheeks
of a Holocaust survivor during their camping trip?
Or a worn to the bone mother of nine
who can’t recall which end of the blush brush
paints her pale skin haunting
her prominent cheekbones?
How many pens can a victim use
to tell what you have done ?
Or pages of paper-tear stained paper?
How many hells will you endure
before and after your death?
I don’t care.
As I stand trying,
the world goes on around me.
Little do I know what happens next.
I am loved by about three people in the universe.
Which is fine for most,
but not for me.
I want to be cherished and radically loved-
not for the potential but for the me.
I love but do not feel loved.
Yes, this is possible!
I am a burden to many,
loved by few, tossed and turned by the waves of life.
My depression breaks down the door.
Doors are just the polite way of coming in.
When is my turn
Or did I miss it?
I know I live in this house to learn,
but, please, let school be over.
I have tried beyond belief.
Punishing me; let this time be over!!!
I have learned.
Let school be over.
Let my freedom bells ring.
Let there be peace today!
Thank you for reading! I hope that you have an amazing day!!♥️♥️♥️
Silent to vio-
lent. Make your voice heard!
Peace not a doormat.
The Heavens you sketched and colored for me,
prove a love so intense that, God, it beckons me remember you.
The sunlight that this hermit longs to have poured over her pale soul, the protection of my Lord, the God of recompense.
The cream hole in the sky at even time beckons me peace; be still.
So I rest my head on my prayer shawl.
And I know that when I converse with you,
I talk to the Lover who adores me so.
I want to quit but don’t know how.
Fear flows from my head to heart to paper.
I never asked for this pain,
but I did the right thing;
Now I’m stuck like the tar baby.
I weep and moan, but no one hears-
not even my dogs, because I won’t let them.
I can’t let anyone see the real me.
There’s only one who would help, but he won’t.
Just one more day-everyone remarks.
What if that one more day is my last day?
I leap from jellyfish to jellyfish when I talk to you.
Never the same,
smack or kiss.
I am in my blue period of life, I guess.
What suits you? Anything I do?
You hate my freedom.
You hate my dogs.
You hate me. Maybe not on the surface but deep down where people don’t like to talk about sibling rivalry.
I was abused harder, but you had it worse, right?
Why is it always a competition with you?
You needle and needle and fucking needle, needle, needle until no one is happy. Everyone is in an uproar but you as you inwardly cackle.
You love it when a plan comes together! Your plan- no one else’s.
No wonder my brother hates me and loves you. Needle, needle.
Mom would be so disappointed and disapproving of you and your schemes.
You drive me to lunacy then let’s take a nap together.
Who are you like- Mom or dad?
I cried for you today.
In panic like I have never felt before,
Mila, Beth, and more tried to calm down the crazy lady,
but I needed to peel my skin off and climb on the ceiling and sit where I could breathe and see life.
I threw a tizzy.
I had a fit.
I had a whole dairy farm, and I am lactose intolerant. I was wildly tossing gluten in the air and catching with my open mouth.
But, seriously, I cried hard, “I can’t catch my breath, I’m going to suffocate tears” for you.
I missed you and don’t know where you went.
I searched the whole world, and came back frustrated and angry.
I miss my best friend.
I miss me.
Trembling hands holding a racing thought,
How much longer until we’re home?
I can’t believe I forgot my meds.
I’m such an idiot!
Who do I think I am that I can have a normal life?
Thoughts racing around on the coattails of a unbroken thoroughbred,
Trust me, there’s nothing ugly that you can say to me that I haven’t already told myself.
Took my meds two hours ago and my insides are shaking. When will they kick in???
Everyone is against me. Nobody loves me or likes me for that matter.
One hand stops trembling.
My sister loves me.
My heart slows down.
My friends love me.
The other hand quiets.
God loves me.
I am calm.
Peace; Be still.