He had just exited the scene of the crime. My Tweety Bird nightgown was still pulled up to my ears. My cheeks were wet- both of them. My labored breath detected something else moving in my bedroom. Isn’t it funny how you can smell with your tastebuds? I slowly lowered my nightie down into the urine and semen around my waist.
Bubbles. I could see bubbles. They were coming out of its’ mouth and circling my crown. So dizzy. It perched on the end of my bed so full of light that it lit up my room. An angel. God had answered my prayers. He DID care!
It held up a weapon so fierce that I could have my life back. Shiny and sleek. But, I had seen it before. He had one. Its mouth opened and explanations poured out. Your sister and brother are too old. I am too experienced. You are only five. You are still innocent.
It put the gun in my hand. Cold and hot. I liked the way it felt- powerful. It would show me how. Aim at the chest and squeeze the trigger. No more nightgowns choking around my throat. I handled it in my unusually long fingers and built my courage up to say No.
Suddenly, the brilliant angel turned black with clawed talons. Hell glimmered in its eyes and it’s mouth curled out as it mocked my No. Coward. You are just like him- a coward. I remembered my Bible and screamed, “Get behind me, Satan”!
Mom slithered out of my room only to return when the “mood” struck her fancy. My angel had become my demon.
Susan Awakening 